Rehabbing: The Eldest Arab Daughter
part II: Exploration/ rebellion
Traveling along the axis of exploration/rebellion for a ‘recovering eldest Arab daughter’. (or if you’re new here, this is for everyone, just in my experience, these lessons were learned by being The Eldest Arab Daughter).
Once the temptation of actually living life becomes too strong to bear, we take action. We explore our inherited limitations just to discover that our believed boundaries do not exist (THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST!- Cady Heron). And that the terrain is actually extremely habitable far into the unknown.
We begin to discover that exploration and what could be classified as deviance, isn’t necessarily bad. That non-conformity doesn’t equate to immoral. That there is a very clear place for morality in the unknown. The same morality we were blessed with, often, as a religious foundation from our lineage. That the wisdom of our religious heritage can and will still pulse through our beings, but will adapt to reflect our growth beyond ancestral bounds. We can respect where we came from while also being curious about what is out there in the real world. And your individual experience with what is out there will determine each step of yours.
What we must care for is being honest with ourselves about the nature of our exploration, because as we teeter the line with rebellion, we want to make sure that our motivation is curiosity and not spite. It is easy to develop a distaste for the restrictions you feel like you inherited. Grace is important here; to recollect: that the same mindset that raised you was likely raised like that. This is what the modern wave refers to as breaking generational curses, essentially having the confidence - trust in yourself and your creator, that your desires and your internal magnet is guiding you exactly where you need to go, even if that is where your ancestors have never been.
When your intentions remain pure, or rather become purified through the fire of your journey, you will always end up a truer, freer, happier you. And yet, here comes the hard part for someone who has been gifted shame and guilt, it is a gift because it leads you to discover you. What your values and morals look like in actual application. Talking about these things are easy, but who do you show up as when it’s time to show yourself? What morals do you reflect in your day to day decisions: Are they ones you are proud of? Do you feel guilt because you inherently (from inside out - truly) feel guilt, or does it fall in the preconditioned barriers that you think warrant shame and guilt?
It is vital to be clear on what you are adopting, even if it hasn’t been clear to you at all in life prior. Whenever you get a chance to examine your origins: see what parts of your family story you are breathing life into (through your very being). You then get to decide how much to carry on, and what elements of your family history are going to stop with you. This is clearing your lineage, this is doing the work that is ancestral healing. It is diving into, understanding and then re-constructing your relation to beliefs regarding your own identity and expression.
Boundaries change, borders are re-drawn, but essentially wherever you land from your journey is exactly what your soul needed to grow beyond your historic terrain. And lead your exploration with the knowing that the only result is more stable ground, unified and connected - you and your land.
Enjoy your travels, life will be extremely different after.