Family Prep… Step 1

Its not do you want kids, but rather do you feel you will have kids?

Because if you feel that answer is yes, it may be time to start preparing.

Half of the work is done in a relationship, but the other half is done solo - completely on your ones. And so yes, now is the perfect time to start even if you are nowhere near a serious relationship.

And by the work, I don’t mean financially, or aesthetically but deeply and internally within yourself.

Starting the work means taking every day - from here on out, like you would if you were caring for someone other than yourself; after all that is what parenting is. When we’re used to being a free agent, no real ties, no stability, no restrictions: we can become unhinged, simply because we never had a force tethering us to a reason to be still, to be stable, to be consistent.

So if you think parenthood is on the table for you, at all in this lifetime, start today. its never too early, but (i’m sure some of you may know from your own parental relationships) it can definitely be too late.

Another positive in starting right now (even if you already have kids), is that you’re giving yourself a much more gradual learning curve, which can make the time that it does arrive much smoother. Not to mention the positive impact on the pregnancy which indubitably impacts the entire baby you’re cooking up in there.

What does starting look like?

It looks like the little things: like taking care of yourself, like keeping the temple that is you clean, like eating real food and not being on a substance diet.

It looks like having intimate relations with someone you’d be okay having kids with - because even if y’all don’t make it as a couple, you’ll be stuck with each other, in the form of a third person {Your baby}, for life. So even on the casual front, connect with people you respect, connect intimately with people you actually like, and perhaps even connect intimately with someone you’re willing to take time to get to know.

Starting doesn’t look like stressing out about your finances, but that’s a whole long story for another post, but in short, it does look like getting organized and getting confident fiscally. Start reprioritizing your needs, little by little and see how the slope becomes way less steep in prepping for life with a baby.

Prep work also has to do with your inner work, take every trigger as an invitation to cultivate a better you. Once the little ones come along, they’re the mirror that never lies. So at least getting a glimpse of your true reflection early, and cleaning that reflection, will save a lot of pain - both for you and your kin.

And if your one who repeats the narrative over and over again: I don’t want kids because I don’t want to f*** anyone up the same way my parents did me; you have some deep work to do starting now because the parent wound is screaming and is likely showing up in more ways than your aware of in your day to day life.

So again, ask yourself:

Do you feel like you will have children?

If the answer is anything other than an extremely clear “No'“, Congratulations, the work is awaiting you!